I know that many Turkish and Moroccan patients, people, do not want to talk about the selleckchem subject of ‘dying’. But look, I talk with them about everyday things, things to do with care, yes, general things (nurse of Turkish patient). Some of them, however,

find that it is difficult to maintain silence if their relationship with the patient becomes confidential and he then asks for information. Attention and respect Some care providers from the cases we studied recognised that discussions had not always been conducted with respect. The trust that is essential to building up a good care relationship is missing at a moment like this. I don’t know what made them mistrustful, Inhibitors,research,lifescience,medical but I Inhibitors,research,lifescience,medical think that they thought, ‘We are being treated as though we’re inferior (nurse of Turkish male patient). But they also believe that personal attention and treating people well is part of ‘good palliative care’. Opinions on of what treating people well means, however, can differ. While families believe that they deserve as much respect and attention as the

patient many care providers believe that they are there primarily Inhibitors,research,lifescience,medical for the patient, because it is the patient who should, as far as possible, keep control of the care. A patient is for me the central point. And I often start by saying, I will only talk to you. If other people call Inhibitors,research,lifescience,medical and say, explain what’s going on, then I will refer them to you. If you find it difficult to explain things to your family and friends, then I will be happy to help you, but I am not going to explain it to them myself. Because I want the patient

to keep control of his part of the treatment, I want him to have the same information as his family (oncologist of Turkish male patient). They sometimes get irritated by family members, especially if the relatives present themselves as spokesmen or get in the way of direct contact with the patient. Moments like this reveal that Dutch care providers interpret ‘respect’ differently from the families. As I came in, I was lectured by her in Inhibitors,research,lifescience,medical the hall on what I could or couldn’t discuss with him; it was as if she were giving me instructions (GP of Moroccan male patient). Devoted care by the family The health care providers in the cases we studied appreciate the fact unless that the families want to care for the patient, although some of them remarked that the caring was mainly the responsibility of the women. And there were sons as well, but they didn’t do that much. Well, sons in general tend to do less. Certainly Moroccan sons, I’m afraid (oncology specialist of Moroccan male patient) More of a problem for the health care providers was that the relatives’ duty to care for the patient could become too much for some of them in the long term, but that this would be impossible for them to discuss openly.